Sunday, June 15, 2014

Father's Day 2014

   So, about a year ago I remember posting for Father's Day. This year, Joel is here to help us celebrate it.

   The poor planner I am, I thought Father's Day was MONTHS away. Suddenly it was only a few weeks away, then just 3 days. This has been some year for fathers around here. My Dad has done more than you could believe for me and my little family this year. With the year starting off with some really rough, stressful pitfalls, I don't know that we would have been able to get through it. We sure wouldn't have gotten through it feeling as secure, hopeful, protected and blessed as we have been. And there is no way we would be as strong as we are now, or as close to being back on our feet any time soon. My family is truly blessed to have him. He's really taken us all in, and most valuable-he has taught us how to be stronger as a family, how to be stronger for Joel. (That's my dad. He's always been my hero. But don't tell him, he doesn't like this mushy sentimental stuff.)
      And I sure love seeing the bond between my Dad and Joel. It really is something to see your parents with your kids. (I'm sure parents feel the same about seeing their kids, with kids.)


    And Aaron sure has jumped into his role as a dad. (Not that I expected any less from him.)
(Doesn't he look ready to jump into the role?)

Seeing Aaron become a father has been something else. Throughout my pregnancy, he seemed to transform before my eyes. But having Joel here, in his arms, has changed him even more.
I didn't even know it was possible.

   It goes without saying, Aaron loves his son. He loves being a father. Though he insisted to never want children for most of the time I knew him, he is a natural. And I have never seen him so devoted as he is to Joel. (No, not even to the guitar or magic tricks or skateboarding. And I had always been amazed at his devotion to those hobbies.)

   Having Joel has changed the core of who Aaron is. Or maybe it just let it show. Whatever Aaron might have been before, a musician, a writer, a free spirit, I believe what he truly is, and always was meant to be, is a Daddy.

   Tonight I helped Joel make Aaron some Father's Day gifts. As I said, I had not been planning as I should have (I am a horrible procrastinator) and my original gift ideas (custom guitar picks and an engraved pocket knife "Joel's Daddy", fell through due to utter brokeness. But at the last minute I managed to find ideas for pretty cute homemade gifts I think Aaron will love. (Which isn't too easy- he is a man without much sentimental hormones. EXCEPT, when it comes to Joel.)

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Things you only hoped for

A friend of mine on facebook shared this image today. I read it, ready to feel a little upbeat and positive from a clever saying while I continued looking at my newsfeed.

   What I didn't do was prepare myself for a wave of emotion.I didn't expect this simple black and white image to hit me quite so hard.

  Because right now, I am struggling. I am trying to enjoy life as it comes, while I impatiently tap my foot waiting for a few key things that feel as if they will never happen. I have recently realized I was trying to put a pause on life, waiting for these things to happen for me to truly live. But we all know life doesn't work that way. So much of it has been going by while I have been waiting for events that will make it better. 
    And I don't know how many times I have cried on Aaron's shoulder the past few months, wailing that it was never going to happen.

         Seeing this image reminded me of another time in my life when I was waiting and hoping. Unable to enjoy the life I had, because I couldn't stop focusing on what I didn't have. Believing that the biggest of my hopes was so out of my reach, thinking that I might as well let it go. So many days passed me by while I sat and dreamed about when my life would really start, instead of enjoying the life I had- convinced I would never have my dreams come true.

      And now here I am. I just spent the last few hours feeding, bathing, and tucking in my dream come true. The most amazing of all my hopes and wishes is now my reality.

And that makes me optimistic that, eventually, everything I'm hoping for will be along. But for now, while I wait, I think I'll keep on enjoying the best part of my life.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Mother's Day

   Last month I had my first Mother's Day (post-delivery, that is.) Our "Mother's Day celebration" stretched from Friday through Sunday.

    On Mother's Day itself, we kept it pretty low-key. Aaron took me for an early Chinese  to celebrate. Afterwards we went home and I celebrated Mother's Day doing what I love doing most.

Being Joel's Mom.

   We walked, we swung, we snuggled. Aaron and I watched Joel sleep, changed his diapers and kissed his belly.

   For me Mother's Day was all about celebrating and remembering the most important day in my life, the day I met the little guy who turned me into a mother.


    But like I mentioned, our Mother's Day started on Friday. Aaron took me to pick out my mother's day ring. 

It has a beautiful blue topaz (Joel's birthstone is topaz.) and two admittedly tiny diamonds (Aaron's birthstone.)

  But the ring was only part of it. This ring came with a surprise!

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Has it been so long?

Well, to the people who read this blog (I can't believe anyone does. Hi there!) it has been quite awhile.

Life happens and it has been hectic with tons of stuff I'll not put on here. But things seem to be calming down and I am pretty saddened that I lost so much time on here. So many posts I didn't make!

But it is never too late. Right?

This Thursday my little boy turned 7 months old. Which didn't seem like that big of a deal until Aaron said

"This kid has been out of you for 7 months now."

I honestly think my uterus sobbed at that realization. My baby? 7 months? OVER half a year old? LESS THAN half a year to being a year old? How on earth is it possible? I honestly thought (almost worried) that the bond we had, that feeling of closeness only I could have with him while I carried him, was going to fade away. But it has only grown stronger.

My boy is sitting up, crawling, understands the relation between words and events ("Let's go rub lotion on you" can prompt him to rub his face in little circles like I do when applying lotion), and tonight during bathtime another milestone!

Joel has a cute little habit of waving his arms up and down, smacking his legs in the process. During his bath after dinner he did that and made a wonderful discovery when the water splashed up around him and into his face. He looked up at me for a reaction (something I've noticed he does often when he is unsure of a new situation), so I smiled and clapped. Encouraged he did it again, then got both hands into it. Then we kissed goodbye the days when only Joel got wet during bathtime.

When Aaron came in Joel decided to show him his trick, and there was no doubt he was proud to show off to his dad. After every few splashes he looked up at Aaron with the biggest grin, his eyes twinkling, his face saying "Isn't it cool Dad? See what I can do?"
(I have no cute pictures to go along with the story, since I'm not too keen on sharing his bath pics with the world. So here are some unrelated, random cute pictures.)