Friday, May 31, 2013

Sitting at the dentist

When I was about 7 weeks along I was having a horrible time. I couldn't sleep no matter how tired I felt, and I was having weird audio hallucinations. I honestly thought I was losing my mind. I was terrified.
Lots of research on the matter found a few other women out in cyber-land who experienced the hallucinations during early pregnancy, but the very few in all of my searching brought almost no comfort. I convinced myself I was truly losing my mind and I had no idea if it would last after birth.
Finally after a particularly scary moment I went to the er, sure something horrible was happening. I brought along the medicine I had been prescribed when I found out I was pregnant, vitamins, anti nausea pills, extra vitamin b, and antibiotics. They were all deemed not possibly the problem within seconds and I ended up sitting there being questioned about illegal drugs and what I was on until Aaron and I just left.

I felt even worse and even more alone. It couldn't have been made clearer that the hospital thought I was on drugs, and no amount of explaining the issue and the fear was going to change the condescending tone I was being given, or the obvious attitude of "damn junkies."
They were so sure that a simple drug test wasn't even offered, which made my blood boil. A simple blood test would prove I was telling the truth and possibly find something wrong. After hearing more about my pupil size being what they needed to know I was on drugs, offended and defeated, I went home.
After more research and reading about the many possible effects of drastically changing hormones, my dad asked what all I was taking. I told him and he instantly responded, stop taking the anti nausea pills.

So I did. And coincidentally, I finally had a good night's sleep and had no more issues with audio hallucinations.

I still wonder just what was going on. Was the lack of sleep or the hormones causing me to hear people that weren't there? Was it the pills keeping me up for so long? I've read too much vitamin b gives you energy, I wonder if that could have a part in it.

I still wonder about it sometimes but thank God it isn't a worry of mine anymore.

I don't know why this is what I am thinking of while I wait for a dentist to see me for a wonderfully angry and infected broken tooth. (Ouch). But to me it seems like something worth remembering about the first weeks of pregnancy.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

It's been awhile (14 weeks, 6 days)

 It's been awhile since I wrote anything on here. Woops. Guess that doesn't make for the best blog or a very good pregnancy diary.

So besides the endless apartment applications and job applications, I had an ultrasound that threw into question the number of uterus's I'm packin (just one by the way.) Cravings for chocolate and a swollen left leg and ankle (though that started just today, after a nice few days of horrible knee pain. Joy.)And today I had a wonderful ultrasound that I'll get to in a moment.  First, here I am, 14 weeks and 20 pounds later. (If I am truly meant to only gain 30-35 pounds, I think I'm in trouble.)

Well, that's the outside of me. Inside is something just miraculous. I am having the hardest time actually believing that any of this is actually taking place inside of me, right now. (And somehow, I can't even feel it!)

Aaron's mom took us to get a 3d sneak peak ultrasound done today. This is amazing. It is a 15-30 minute ultrasound in both 2d and 3d. It isn't done by a doctor, but by an ultrasound technician, so it is more about having fun and bonding with the baby the entire time. They have a huge viewing room with 2 comfy couches for anyone you've invited to watch, and the ultrasound shows on the normal ultrasound screen, and also on a big screen tv and a pretty nice sized tv on another wall. I laid with Aaron sitting next to me facing the big tv and got almost 30 minutes of watching the baby. And my gosh! I would have never guessed how much there is to see happening in there. Here I thought my baby wasn't much of a mover.

This baby was bouncing, stretching, and rolling all around. I swear it was like my uterus is a bounce house. I still can't believe that with all that movement, I can't feel a thing! I was worried that there wouldn't be much activity because I didn't eat much before the ultrasound and didn't drink any orange juice. Thankfully I got way more than I ever hoped.

The ultrasound tech was awesome and fun, the atmosphere was just what you'd want for something so amazing. And after a big of wiggling of the stomach to convince baby to let us see (which the baby did NOT like, judging by the hands flailing around)

we got the sneak peak we wanted, and found out what we're having.
I couldn't be happier! (Of course if I was having a girl I'd be saying the same thing. I could never decide which I wanted more. They both seemed perfect to me.) Of course that took the name Brielle off the table and we focused on the boy names we've been coming up with. Finally we both thought of the same name and mentioned it (even both thinking of the same middle name). It has given both of us the warm fuzzies inside, and we both spent awhile repeating it in our heads and to each other. Just in case, I am giving it awhile to see if we still love it after the newness of saying it wears off.

My favorite part of the ultrasound had to be when we watched him in 3-d, rubbing and patting his face. The poor boy couldn't believe we actually took pictures of his privates, he seemed utterly mortified!!! (Or possibly embarrassed that we caught him grabbing himself. Woops!)

 Every time I get to see my boy or hear his heartbeat, I fall in love with him all over again. At the end of the appointment they gave me the entire ultrasound on a dvd, a cd with 30 pictures, and an adorable stuffed giraffe with a recording of his heartbeat inside of it. I already miss him though, can't stop looking at the pictures and I can't wait to go back when I'm farther along to see more details about my little guy.